Saturday, April 29, 2006

Aiko, kushin

There were some debates about the definition of "Aikokushin(patriotism)" in Japanese textbooks a while ago.

Seems like it's hard to define it because of historical backgrounds, political issues and such that are involved~.

Wouldn't it be a good idea to let kids define their own "Aikokushin"??
It could also be interesting to hear the opinions of student people, but I wanna see what comes out of little kids' heads~!

There was this assembly of the whole school and teachers every week, when I was in the elementary school in NY. It's something like the morning assembly in Japanese schools, I guess?

A big American flag was on the gym stage and it started like this: we all stood up putting our right hand on our heart and recited this sentence, "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. Bla bla bla . . . " and then

('-' ). . .

Huh?? Mmm?? I can't remember what was done after that?!

I have this feeling that every time we sat for like half an hour and saw or heard this or that . . . Wonder what it was. Was it something like school's news or events? (' - ' )

Hmm. Or perhaps it's natural that I don't remember anything since I was a little kid. (-_-;)
What I remember very well, is that I was sitting on the blue gym mat thinking "This is dull, when will this be over~?" or "My legs are asleep~, Aww I need to go to the rest room"! (lol)

Nevertheless, I clearly remember that we recited that sentence together, putting our hand over our heart and looking up at the American flag lit up by the light.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and..."

Uh-oh, I don't remember the last half of it(lol)

The feeling implanted in childhood: it remains forever in your heart. Even if it may not remain, the memory lasts a lifetime!

When I was a child I had the habit of pledging allegiance to America('s flag) in a group, and I've never done that kind of thing to Japan. But that doesn't mean that I feel so much for America, or that, for example, I wouldn't go pro-American if Japan and America should go to war and conflict with each other . . . that said, I think I've considered myself as an American early.

Oops, I'm Japanese! Gotta learn more about Japan! - it wasn't until much, much later that I became aware of those sorts of things!

I watched the news and thought how I would define "Aikokushin," but it's pretty hard to get it straight.

I do wanna know kindergarteners' and elementary students' definitions!

(NOTE by Nuuk)
"Aikokushin" means "patriotism" as one word; if separated like "Aiko" and "kushin," "Aiko" can be a Japanese female name and "kushin" means "struggle."

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Girl connected to the internet

The other day, I couldn't connect to the internet all day.
The trouble took just a single day to settle, but I once again thought that the internet was a nice thing at the moment I got to connect again.

I heard Horie san was freed on bail!

Wonder if he's browsing the internet by now . . .

Girl poor at KA row

Last month, my new weakness was found while recording a song.

Producer M: "Hey Hikaruu, "KA row" means much in the lyrics of this part, so try to sing keeping it in your mind"

Singer U: "Alrighty"

. . . then went on to the next take. However.

:sings: "Katt?@%#Katts, Ka . . @&Kats . . . Ke@#ki*%@Ki~da . . . "

. . . huh?

Kieeeeehh!! (*_*) This is hard!!! KA row is pretty tough to pronounce!

I tend to stress vowels more which causes a lack of attack to "k" even though I'm trying to sing "k~" words clearly!

Well, I did my best and the singing went well after all. It's just that, I sorta have a slight lisp in my pronunciation of Japanese, you know what I mean. I'm aware my pronunciation is a bit off though . . . I was caught off guard by an unexpected difficulty.

Come to think of it, what made me a huge fan of Sekine Tsutomu san's was that I heard him on TV saying his name was "Kan, Kon, Kin" in the Chinese-style reading . . .

The writer Kaiko Takeshi, whose works have been fascinating me lately, is "Kai, Kou, Ken" if read in the Chinese-style reading . . .

This got lengthy, but the point is I am a girl who is poor at "KA row" for a number of reasons.

Well, that's just about it . . .

Alright then, I'll arrange Baikin-man's parting shot for today -

Ka KiKu KeKo~! (^o^)

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Bookstores on rainy days / rain on Book Day

I love bookstores on rainy days.

Tailors or other neat shops - I'd be afraid of messing them up; cafes - could be dark and make me depressed, which I wouldn't like; CD shops - they've generally got too much smooth surfaces like plastics, that could make me dizzy(smooth surfaces everywhere in the wet outside too, so that's an overdose of smoothness for me!).

The sweetest thing is that the scent of books, which is my favorite, fills the store due to damp~!

(-oo-) :oink: :oink: :sniff sniff sniff:

Would be kinda yucky if there were someone like this around you.
(And I am someone just like this . . .)

Papers, that have water as an natural enemy, are protected by the roof; you come close to the water on other shoppers' shoes or coat - all those kind of things just attract me~.
(^~^) :drools:

Haven't you ever been frightened by the clear sound from the wet shoes, as bookstores are generally quiet places?

I wonder if I'm a kinky girl who finds eroticism in bookstores on rainy days(*- -*)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Is It Just Me by Utada Hikaru

It doesn't really matter:sings:

When I was a child. Some sort of shock or stress or something turned part of my hair gray.

('o' ;)It DOES matter

It doesn't really matter:sings:

It just gets on my nerves when I find someone blocking my way.

(*^-^*)please MOVE thank you very much

It doesn't really matter:sings:

"24" is so full of incidents after incidents, which ceases to matter in the end.

(-_-)Okay I had enough, you all die . . .

It doesn't really matter:sings:

I'm a type of person who likes to watch corn soup form a film on its surface.

(*w*)That yellow film is so cute, always makes me wanna poke at it

It doesn't really matter:sings:

See ya:sings:

(NOTE by Nuuk)
It seems this message is inspired by some jokes of Daita Hikaru, a female Japanese stand-up comedian.


I really love Prince's new album~!

It's called "3121." The jacket, what's great about it is that you can instantly tell "it's Prince!" just from this dark photo featuring almost his back only.

It's my favorite CD of the moment. Many people around me are hooked on it too.

Also I've got so into Chick Corea's Return To Forever. I often listen to it.

Good morning to all who just woke up!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

There and here

I just saw the boundary between rivers and ocean on TV. I liked it!

When I draw a picture, I always start with drawing border lines.

It is a very natural feeling for humans to express boundaries by drawing lines on the place that they do not actually exist, you know. The more real you draw them, the more picturesque or photographic they look. If they go beyond those levels and become such pictures that boundaries are like melted and mixed together, then they may look surreal beyond real. Like Dali's, Munch's and such.

I say "boundary" is a very artificial conception. It is almost like a synopsis of a novel. Which is supposed to be an outline to make things easy to understand, but also may cause confusion instead if you forget that it is artificial.

Kaiko Takeshi's "Into a Black Sun," which I started to read lately, makes me think a lot about "boundaries"! Borders, friends/foes, life and death, darkness and light.

I've always been vaguely aware of the boundary between myself and the outside world, and just can't perceive "myself" clearly. I'm being my natural self in a positive meaning, and in need to be more self-aware in a negative manner. (-_-;)

I've been feeling very very odd about my being alive since I was a child, and I still can't get used to it! It's something like the man who runs onto the train, then finds himself saying "Huh?" in a women-only car. Is it just me or haven't you ever had that sort of odd feeling? I always! feel it in my daily life. I somehow feel like a ghost with no sense of direction who got back to this world. I sorta feel comfortable when walking through a graveyard or places like that.
How about you? (' - ' )

I love those moments when you feel the pillow to your face right before you go asleep, and when you wriggle in the bed for a couple of minutes after you wake up! That's sweet, huh.

I always have dreams and don't have the feeling of resting while I actually sleep.

Loving "A," might mean loving the front, rear, left and right sides of "A," and boundary between "A" and "things other than A" for me*

"Boundary" is very important, after all. For me, I mean. Important as a linkage of "being in contact," not as a role of "dividing" I should say. The reason why you feel something special at dawn and in the evening could be because it reminds you that you're connected to everyone else - that's what I think about everyday.

Being subtle is a good thing.

My dear pillow . . . (^-^ ) :snuggles:

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Reunion x2 (sorry again for ke-tai users!)

(a photo is uploaded. please check her official site)

This is a shot taken after the photo shoot for a magazine yesterday.

Woow these two look a lot like each other ... Hey! (-- canned joke, huh)

Yeah, that's me 7 years ago and me yesterday.

I met up again with 16-years-old me --- !

Just looking at my old photos brings back memories and takes me back in the old days, and it feels even greater to see the life-size billboard of myself! It's amazing! It's something like "Gee, it's been a long time."

And I say Kuge-san, who brought this billboard, is pretty amazing too!!!!

That's another reunion. Or rather, the main reunion!
The photo shoot with Kuge-san for the first time in 7 years, since we did the shoot for "First Love" or "movin' on without you." It's unexpectedly realized as a work for a magazine.

He said he brought this life-size billboard as it was still in his office.

As it had been such a long time since we last saw each other, we were laughing all the time during the shooting. I mean, Kuge-san was laughing too hard! The grown-up (?) look on my face made him laugh a lot through the camera. I enjoyed the shooting very much, too!

There's this feeling that you can't go against time, as well as that time is not an axis but actually fun house with lots of hidden doors, free to explore as you like.

I feel like the concept of "simultaneousness" itself could not exist any more, as well as the world could be fully filled with "simultaneousness."

It's kinda like, "time" is not a long and thin baguette, but a big baumkuchen. Sounds yummy, huh*

I wanna see him again! I love Kuge-san. (*x.x*)Geez! I'm such a bold guy.

Hey hey, looking at the photo above do you think I've changed? Or not?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


Seems like mixi was temporarily overcrowded yesterday . . .

I'm sorry for those of you troubled by me.

This time I received some strict comments(thank you), and lately I realize that I gotta be more self-aware of, say, my name recognition and stuff like that!!!

I mean, I'm really a careless, pain in the neck type of person.
I often think I'm not fit for this sort of work that is to be seen by a lot of people and could affect them, but at the same time, for the same reason I also think my personality is a type of which wouldn't be allowed if I didn't have such a creative job like this. (Sounds sorta complicated?)

I think I wanna be a respected person, just like my d- dad. (--Aww I see my embarrassment at the ending of words)

My relationship with my dad has been pretty businesslike, work-centered all this time. Our family is sorta like a samurai, the type of who takes care of business.

I believe we both have always been wanting to come close to each other. And perhaps over the past one year, it's like my mental barrier to my dad has been lowered. Lately I sometimes talk or discuss with my dad about something important, mental issues or anything.

The other day, when the weather was so good we were like "Why don't we go for a drive?" and drove straight to Shonan. We went to Enoshima for the first time, had tea and bought gifts there, then drove back. Might have been the first time that I did such a dating-like thing like this with my dad . . .
(.- -.) :blushes:

We humans put anything in our mouths when we are a baby, absorb and believe the world . . . then enter puberty, come to know many faults of the adults around us, and grow up building self-definition amid feeling contradiction or rebelling, you know.

Then when we grow up more, we become more aware of our own faults than others' and sometimes end up hating ourselves, don't we. We can't help but think of apologies to others or worry about if we've been bad from a young age, can we?

It would be nice if we could get to have respect for our parents, understanding, or appreciation for the people around, not hate ourselves and get desperate.

I've been so into Kaiko Takeshi lately!


I've been found quite easily and got tons of messages, which blue - nah, blew me away~!

I didn't think such a lot of people would find me within this little time
(_x_x)_ Eeeek

So are there much more people with time to kill than I thought . . . x

What a lucky person I am . . . o

When you think about it carefully, you realize that those people with a similar name might've got loads of mails too! (T o T) Aaaghh
... and that you might cause those two on my friends list trouble??(T o T) Aagghhh

I just did the resignation thing in a hurry, as soon as I realized this. (:cold sweats:)
(I am so sorry if I troubled you!!!) (I'm such a dork . . . gah . . . yes I am . . .)

That said, thank you for all who tried to find me! :gets wet with tears: I'm very pleased~. I did the resignation after I read all your messages!

Tonight I go to sleep reading "Into a Black Sun" by Kaiko Takeshi. Good night & so sorry for all the fuss.
(T o T) Aaaaaggh

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


The other day in the studio, I brought this up - "Do you know MIXI?"

We the staff see each other only at work, and don't know one another's personal e-mail address or anything. It is still a precious personal contact with humans for me, who's almost never hung out this year 2006. (T__T)

Holy crap all of them are already a member of mixi. (I've just had 2 consecutive sneezing fits for the first time in my life!!!! Wooooot!!)

So I assume you all who are reading here may know it, right? It's a huge interactive communication space on the web.
I joined it last year invited by my best friend girl, with no background info on it. At first I was like "Okay . . . (what's interesting about it?)"as I had no interest in that sort of thing, then what changed my mind all at once like "What! No kidding? Yes Yes I'll join it I'll be in it!!" was . . .

My best friend: "There's this community that everyone talks with each other by using only the words in 'Ina-chu'."

('o' )Hmguaaahhhhhhh INVITE ME!

That way I joined it to talk to my close friend, who'd been keeping frequent touch with me, on the message board that was allowed to use only the words in the manga called "Ike! Inachuu Takkyuubu(Go! Inachuu Ping-Pong Club)."

But seems like it just isn't the thing for me, the introvert me who feels a little disgusted at the sound of the words "Social Networking," and the number of accesses remains at a two-digits level so far . . .

There are only two on my friends list?sorta thing in mixi. I'm not interested in increasing the list at all . . . nor am I utilizing the diary thing at all . . . sorta annoyed by those community news mails . . . I'm thinking of resigning any time now.

So, If you are a member and just have tooooooo much time on your hands, then you can try to find me just before my resignation. Or you can send me a message or something.
Wonder if such a person with much time to kill really exists.

Though half of my screen name is a fake, I believe other profile data is basically true. Perhaps you can find me in a minute.

Incidentally, last week Kiriya-kun finally learned about mixi, and kicked at me who had joined it ages ago, like "Huh? Why didn't you invite me earlier? ( T O T )"

Good luck to all the secretive wives in the world. (o_o)

Friday, April 07, 2006

Something that I realize lately

The warm milk tastes so good . . .

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Hand and foot Part 1

(a photo is uploaded. please check her official site)

Yesterday's update was like, kinda an update on my delayed update. Nothing more than that.


This image above. (sorry, it seems like the images here cannot be seen on ke-tai)

It's my left hand.
What is the black lacy thing that is loosely wound? - it's a bracelet-like thing that I recently bought. At first I thought it's goth-cute*, but after I got home I wore it and

('o'|||) My Gosh - it's too big, as you see! ! ! !

It almost looks like some Ninja goods!
It was supposed to look gothic. Really. Oh boy.

I often tell this in the interviews - I've always hated the smallness of my hands and feet! (the whole me is kinda small, though) Sometimes my friends call me "4th grade" even after I've grown up, which is about my hands and feet.

And this bracelet (this really is) - they had this size only. I know my hands are tiny , but wonder if it fits other people's. Every part of it, including the wrist part, is too big. :weep:

Er, no, I don't mean to nag about it! Or is this what's called nagging? (-_-;)

Because . . . ~continued to Part 2 (right below here)

Part 2

(a photo is uploaded. please check her official site)

I put it on my foot and it's perfect!

O(^o^)O Yaaaaay! ! !

. . . When I think of that too loose helmet I put on the other day, I may need to admit that every part of me is too tiny . . .

(My left foot in the photo above: exact size 21.8 cm)

Well the bigger, the better. (-_-;)?
This bracelet looks India-ish on the foot. Very nice*

Let's bring it into fashion this summer! (Never happen!)

See ya! Bye-bye-kii~n.


I - I'm 18 minutes late!

But it's still sorta late Wednesday evening.

Forgive me, I just came back from work


Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Protect yourself at all points including your hands

I finally got to announce this*

The new album and tour!

Since the beginning of this year I've been so dedicated to working on the production of Ultra Blue, fraying my nerves, that I'm sorta weakened now. Both physically and mentally I mean. Gotta do some fitness training for UTADA UNITED 2006. Well. Alright. Just see if I don't.

Hoping to see you in summer(^o^)

Monday, April 03, 2006

Supplement to the pic I up!loaded on April 1st

Actually, I didn't even explain the pic at all, let alone supplement it.

When was it taken~? Well as you see, that's me @ the batting cage. I'm surprised myself how frumpy or silly I can look in the photo. You know, I'm just holding a bat. (-_-;)

Is it because I was wearing the terrible-athlete type of glasses? Or was it bad that the helmet prepared was not my size? But that was the only one I could find~!

(/-o-)/ Jesus that's HUGE! And I have no idea how dirty the guy that wore the helmet just before me could be! With that thought, I put on the helmet for fear of getting hit by a pitch or something. (I'm such a chicken when it comes to things like this . . . ) For everyone: please do attempt this*

That said, I think neither the fine young couple next to me nor parent and child in the back of the photo wore a helmet . . . so I was the only one fully equipped. In fact, the girl of the couple was in boots with chic heels! Something is wrong! Or rather, it's dangerous!

I may be here today well and sound because of that helmet, you know . . .

No, the ball didn't hit my head.

By the way, that was the roof of the bowling alley in Yebisu, facing the slope of a back road or something. It was last month, if I remember right.

I sent some hits, thanks to a friend of mine who taught me the batting stance and whatnot before. (-o-) Heheheheh

But the first pitch hit my left hand, which hurt me so badly . . . (was that a low and inside pitch?)

The lesson of the day: helmets cannot protect your hands!

All I do every day is study (/_;) :sniffs: