Friday, October 31, 2008

Being a woman

I'm reading a book called "Being a woman," written by Yasunari Kawabata. (I'm also reading two more books in different types, or like, genres)

Was it like 5 years ago? It's been a long time since I came to announce that I'd had an operation for ovarian cystoma, and I still get a lot of asking me about that sort of diseases, from women.

What I can say is just that I've learned having an operation in your stomach (especially of those parts linked to women's delicate reproductive function) is quite tough in many ways. At that time I wasn't told any detailed information on the operation and postoperative things at all. I learned about it afterward, like, 'Oh so this turned like this, looks tough,' 'Huh? Did they do this to me?,' and 'Ah I see, this won't bother me long so I'd just get well as if nothing happened' - there were both good things and bad things, lots of things to hear.

I don't know much about the disease called endometriosis, but it looks like tough to me to have it. I can imagine there are those people, who worry about thing like the tendency to become sterile and such. A certain number of people around me have had an operation of a fibroid before or have a womb cancer - those are different kind of diseases though.

So I think it is very much important to have regular gynecologic exam. In America it's nothing special to go to gyn before you have your first period.

To know is "power," so I think it is important to get to know your own body. It's just ridiculous to get depressed because of misunderstandings as well as throw yourself into a negative thinking mode, right? It's ridiculous to be arrogant because of misunderstandings, too.

It's true that what you don't know can't hurt you, though. The most impressive thing I learned through the operation was . . . that the doctors dared not tell me about details of the operation and things after it, on purpose. It would've made me scare anyway as an "unknown" thing if they'd told me. I wanna thank them much. But I think I would've tried to get to know what I should know in that case.

After all that happened, I feel like I don't need to know everything about operations and cures, if I get sick again in the future.

That said, I wanna know about the current condition of my own body - especially about my future reproduction function if it comes to gyn diseases. Or rather should I say, the most important thing is to know about the current condition of one's own body.

I guess there are not only women but also many men who have problems of infertility.

So don't take it as a weakness that only women have . . .

As for me there aren't any problems with having a child.

What is so ironic, is that there are some people who really wanna have children but remain infertile, while there are other people who have children despite their birth control. Destiny means neither playing foul nor paying off, it just "happens" - isn't it?

I myself is a child born as a result of an unscheduled pregnancy, you know. (Which means my parents used birth control. From what I was told from them before. They failed so they had no choice but to give birth to me) There are children with such backgrounds, right. lol

Apart from that.

Yasunari Kawabata's writing is wicked cool. I don't know any English writers who could beat him. Yasunari Kawabata rocks.

I'll hit the sack after I finish reading "Being a woman"~!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I got it

(a photo is uploaded. please check her official site)

Well . . .

Now I know the reason why I got those bruises in the image I uploaded yesterday . . .

Looks like these bruises were made by a kid's hand or petite woman's hand, hmm, could it be . . .

. . . A ghost ?!

(x O x) AAAaaaaaaaaggghhhhh !!!!!

No no no ! No way ! (T o T) Awww!

I was talking with my friend like that, shivering.

Well but, wait a minute.

Hikaru, maybe you could try grabbing your own arm by yourself.

Huh? You mean, this way?

*grabs my arms*

It fit perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfectly ! ! ! !

C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S !

You are the 100th visitor here today!

Ta-dahhh! *sounds a fanfare*

Let's break the kusudama open!

It really fit perfectly like that. All my fingers, fit neatly into each bruise.

It is estimated, that I was grabbing my left arm tightly by my right hand, when I was troubling with a nightmare.

So, that was me . . . :slumps down:

Well but I feel relieved, as I thought for a moment it could be a ghost, which made me scared~
Whew (^-^;)

I've always talked, laughed or cried in my sleep, and I always have nightmares as well, so there's no wonder if I grabbed my own arm so hard enough to make bruises . . . ha ha ha . . .



He he he he heh !
(Am I really OK with this?)

Putting that aside - I enjoyed Onihei special show aired the other day~ (sheds tears)

I cried in sympathy with Omasa-san, then came that ending song.

I was really happy to watch that! Thank you!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


(a photo is uploaded. please check her official site)

OK I'll talk about some oyaji gags.

The other day this kid challenged me like "Hey, can you tell me any oyaji gag~?" and well, come to think of it, all that came to my mind was this - "Futon ga futtonda (the futon flew)" - but

"Like, 'Futon ga futtonda' and such~!"

The kid said it first, which made me feel so frustrated.

I was completely defeated, cause all other gags I was able to think up then and there was "Examine your zipper(a Japanese pun of 'chakra' and 'chuck(zipper)') :slumps down:

I mean, it seemed like the kid had no idea what I meant. (It's like, the kid didn't know what 'chakra' was ... )

Damn, I always wrote all the jokes and gags down in my notebook whenever they came up on my mind when I was a child, for rubbing them up, but these days I have such a small repertoire of them :slumps down:

I was beaten :slumps down:

By the way, look at these bruises.

I always have bruises.

Huh?!! How come I got this bruise here?? Since when?! I mean, I just can't crash such a part on anywhere, can I!?

That way, I often have bruises that I have no idea where I got them, on my legs, thighs, arms and such.

These bruises on my arm, very much look like the ones you get when someone grabs and squeezes your arm hard, but I don't think someone did such things to me nor I know how come I've got these bruises . . .

This looks like an evidence photo of a woman who suffered abuse . . .

Have I got weak blood vessels? ( ; _ ; )

I wanna make my blood vessels strong ! ! *prays hard* Be strong, my blood vessels!

I'll see if I could change them by dietary change ( ; _ ; )


Today I met this friend of mine for the first time in a long time, and I was told like Eternally was selling very very well!

- which I completely forgot about, so my response was like " . . . Huh? Oh! Ah! Wow! Is it?! That's great!" (-_-;)

I heard the chaku-uta and downloadable version of it were received well too

Thank you very much

I mean

How come you forgot about it !?

Damn you!! (  -_-)=))XoX((=(-_-  ) You dork!!

I haven't watched Innocent Love yet. What is it like? Maybe I'll watch the next episode (^o^)

Friday, October 10, 2008

I didn't have a facelift

(a photo is uploaded. please check her official site)

Something weird on my left eye is gone!

I heard something like a couple of press people inquired my record company and office about if Utada had a facelift or not. (lol)

"your side face always looks the same since you were a baby" - that's what my dad always tells me.

Summer is gone! I'm soooo happy!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008


(a photo is uploaded. please check her official site)

I wonder if it looks kinda like this.

Suddenly this hit me

(a photo is uploaded. please check her official site)

Close in on reality (迫真に迫る)

Don't you hear it all the time?

Doesn't this sound kinda strange, come to think of it?

It's like, "fall off a horse(馬から落馬) "