I - I'm so deeply impressed

It's over now . . . I would've shown my crying to all over the world if it hadn't been over at that time.

I've just checked your emails briefly - there's this person who's glad to have seen the live on PC since his/her leg is disabled - some people watched the live from overseas beyond the time difference - well, we'd been flustered just before the live started, like "Hey what's gonna happen ? Is everything going all right ??" but after all it's so good to have done this live ! ! ! ! !

Thinking I can work again like before I'm about ready to shed tears, so I'll talk to you later, when I'm at ease.


Thank you

IKEIKE

Err don't I sound so IKEIKE ?!
Please believe me, I'm really IKEIKE !

'Cause I didn't have kanashibari this morning
Just getting up normally makes me feel great these days as I've had kanashibari for 3 consecutive nights since I had it for the first time !

. . . That's not so cool . . . (lol)

Anyway "I'll be IKEIKE in My 20's"(UH Live Streaming), it's coming tomorrow ! ! - actually it's today already. It's really coming closer - !

The rehearsal is going just fine - !
Today I've tested various things - like the system of chatting by 8,000 people; confirming the whole structure of the event including camera testing.
It's likely many people are worrying like "my PC might crash due to overload" or "the chat might go so fast", but seems like we can make it !
Our staffs are making great efforts to prepare for it !
'Cause we wanna make "I'll be IKEIKE in My 20's" successful as you do, or probably more than you do
It's gonna be all right !
This event is full of things nobody has ever experienced and we - Utada Hikaru and her jolly fellows (=staffs) - are so excited about it . . . let's see together if we can make it ! !
(Isn't it what's called "curiosity" ? (lol))

Today's rehearsal with TV cameras in tow finished much earlier than expected probably because the sound rehearsals were going well up to now, so I said to them like "Ah we've finished it so quickly!" and then my dad replied to me right away like "Hey, you know, we've been working on so much stuff since 9 o'clock in the morning --". . .

Heeeey dad, you know, I get up at 7:00 in the morning (ooops I forgot to take out the garbage this morning ! ! darn) and then join the staffs after warming up for singing, uttering words and exercising vocal for 6 hours ---
*weep*

This time I'm to appear on many TV programs, but I've been thinking if I can manage to hold an event I can directly communicate with you all who'd been waiting for me while I was absent, and that's why I myself proposed this event to the staffs; been looking forward to it and been all fired up about it !

Say, today is the birthday ! ! ! ! ! --- of mine ! ! ! ! !

Returning home I was too tired to stay up and a happy-birthday-email from my friend at 12:01am woke me up. (lol)

I guess I'll fully realize it immediately after I finished singing on the air ! !

So please check out my face at that moment.

Well it's time to go to bed now.
(You do ? (lol) Aren't you getting far from IKEIKE, hikki - !)

Hahaha ! Good night ---- !


********************
(NOTE by Nuuk)
IKEIKE means something like "on full mode;" "cool;" "go! go!" etc.

Some stuffs I feel abashed to tell

You know,
Once I decided not to write here anymore for today since I wondered if it's okay to write too much at a stretch, but . . . why on earth have I got so much things to tell today !

First of all, see, I feel like writing "I'm sorrrrry" message again every time I read your emails one by one pointing me out that wrong Kanji for "Mr. Nakai"

That is . . . about 1,200 times.

Phew *sob* it's too much to write -- pick pick

(Ahhhh once I thought of not using this nose-picking face mark anymore ! (lol) I love it too much)

Please tell it to me anytime if you'd find any mistakes in my message

And you know, I'm so glad I received much more responses to Tres Bien Bohemian Special (=Hikki's radio program on 13/Jan) than expected ! - but ! I was abashed when I found an article saying like " . . . she revealed her B/W/H measurements for the first time . . ." I really was. Yeah.

'Cause, you know, this time I just aired the part I secretly revealed it at the very end of the last round of my radio program I'd been doing regularly when I was about 17 ! so that is - those measurements were taken 3 years ago ----- !! (lol) Reading the article I was almost spitting yogurt out of my mouth since it was mentioning my measurements in detail with each value.

One more thing to write: but before that I wanna say thank you for the informations about Kanashibari ! ! ! (also about "Todo" (lol))
This time I really thought this site would have the greatest intelligence network in Japan ! ! (I could've easily written a paper on a subject like physics if I'd noticed this when I was in senior high, couldn't I ?)
Thank you very much for letting me know about the scientific mechanism of human body; why it's caused and how to dispel it !

And you see,

Your informations helped me immediately.
(not those about "Todo" (lol))

Gosh, do you really mean it !?
Yes I do !
I had Kanashibari again this morning ----- ! !
*Sob* I cannot be a bride now !
Hey you are, already.
(Ahh I'm happy I could finally use this joke - forgive me even if this isn't funny at all !)

What I saw this time - it was so much more scary than last time that I cannot tell it to you . . . besides it happened right after I read your emails about having Kanashibari like:
"My grandpa got on me, seized me by the neck and . . ."
"My body sank into the bed like a mass lead . . ."
"Saw a ghost at the ceiling . . ."
So the imagination skills of the artist Utada Hikaru were on extremely full mode ! ! ! ! (lol)
I always welcome information but pleeeez don't scare me so much with your really-scary stories ~~ !

Say, I've uploaded my photos I promised you to do so before !
Please don't stare at them so intently - they're just some boring photos of a 19-years-old girl wearing kimono ! (lol)


********************
(NOTE by Nuuk)
"I cannot be a bride now" ... this expression may be somewhat concerned with a Japanese notion of Kegare(physical pollution), I suppose.

I WANNA WEAR FURISODE EVEN THOUGH I'M NEWLYWED

What is "Todo" of "Todo no Tsumari" by the way ?

I've finished taking Furisode-photos ! !

Just a moment, I'll upload them ASAP ~ !


********************
(NOTE by Nuuk)
"Todo no Tsumari" ... means something like "When all's said and done;" "after all."

Mistake right after coming of age

Nakai-san . . . I'm so sorrrrry


********************
(NOTE by Nuuk)
In 09:00am/13/Jan message she wrote a wrong kanji(chinese character) for "Mr. Nakai" - she wrote it as
while it should be .

Regret from last year

Is it OK if I confess one thing I've been keeping in my mind since I still cannot get to sleep ? ?

That is . . .
After I finished writing the 1st message on 28/Dec I received an email from a woman whose surname begins with "K" saying like "Today is my birthday but nobody celebrates me ! Hikki, Pleeease give me just one word -- !" and I wrote "Congrats to K-san" at the end of the next message, but . . .

. . . I've got no response from this K-san so far --

Weeeeeeep

Or probably I am missing her mail ?!
Wonder if she's noticed that . . .

Oh I don't feel clear about this !

It's not . . . a TV phone.

I've talked to a friend of mine on the phone til some time ago who was staying up late as I was, and while talking I heard words like "Oh Hikaru you're on TV again !" 8 times or more !

I wondered what's going on and then found snipbits of {COLORS} PV were aired in the news here and there, concerning my TV appearances from later this month.
So I heard like, I was often on TV while talking for an hour . . .
Is it like a TV phone, in a sense ? (lol)

I didn't imagine the announcement would be made such quickly, but yes that's right !
I'll appear on TV here and there !

Ah TV . . . actually I'm not good at it . . .
'Cause I don't know why but I feel like "It's small ! Cold ! What's this feeling !" every time I set foot in TV stations.
But I think this time I'll enjoy it best ever, since the more I appeared on TV the better I got to know the staffs & MCs and feel relieved.

I guess I'll be asked pointed questions so much(lol)
Two of Downtown, Mr. Ishibashi, probably Mr. Nakai will also ask them to me.
. . . or Mr. Tamori could go on the offensive most effectively(lol)

I've got much things to say and I wanna show you I'm fine ! !
I'll promote the song on full mode -- ! Yeaahhhh !

I'll do my best on TV like IKEIKE if my event "I'll be IKEIKE in my 20's !"(=title of UH live streaming) will be successful

Ah ! My radio program will be aired today !
I'll talk about this, that and the other at full speed from the opening - !

Bye !


********************
(NOTES by Nuuk)
"Downtown" ... a comedy duo; MCs of HEY! HEY! HEY!
"Mr. Ishibashi and Mr. Nakai" ... Mr. Ishibashi is one of a comedy duo Tunnels; Mr. Nakai is a member of SMAP. They are doing MC of Utaban.
"Mr. Tamori" ... MC of Music Station.
"IKEIKE" ... apparently means something like "GO GO !!"

Is this a sort of ... Coming-of-Age ceremony ? ?

Oh my ! I'll be at Coming-of-Age ceremony tomorrow !

That means, this morning was the very last morning for me as an "under age" in this country . . .

In such an impressive morning . . .

. . . I experienced kanashibari for the first time in my life.



Bwa ha ha ! ! !

Now am I one of grown-ups by experiencing that ! (lol)

Some people kill a bear unarmed or do bungee jumping from the rocky mountain as a ritual of Coming-of-Age and for me it definitely seems like "experience kanashibari" ! (lol) Really Japan-ish ritual it is .. I don't know.

Well that was so horrible . . .
What was that !
The long, long arms of a monster were pressing me down from near the head of my bed ! ! Aaaaghh ! ! I can't move ! ! Nooo, I lost my voice too ! ! I found myself giving strange voices like "ghh, kh, khaw, ugh, gheh" and thought like "(Ah, I'm not dreaming, what's this, something like a fit of breathing difficulty ? ? HELP---)" but my husband was sleeping peacefully ! !

It took pretty long for me to notice that was what's called kanashibari !

Ahh . . . it was so terrific . . . awful . . .

Anywayz ! Tomorrow is truly Coming-of-Age Day !

I . . . hehehe . . .
. . . will take souvenir photos with my family, wearing furisode !
I'll upload them here - I hope everything's gonna be all right !
(and I hope furisode fits me well . . .)


********************
(NOTES by Nuuk)
"kanashibari" ... the word literally means to be "tightly bound" or "tied down" and it's an old Japanese folk expression for what in English is called "sleep paralysis." It usually happens when the sleeper is either entering or coming out of REM sleep.
"furisode" ... furisode is the most formal kimono for unmarried women. Usually married women wear tomesode but seems like Hikki doesn't care about it. lol.

I just remembered COLORS . . .

. . . can be heard on radio from today ! !
Wow !

During this period - which everybody is getting to hear my new song - I always become so restless enough to feel like "Aaahh ! I'll just let it go ! ! " Ah, I really wish few people would get disappointed at it . . .

I wonder if I can be more, say, optimistic some day when releasing a new song ? ?
Why do I always get to be so weak-hearted . . .
I'm in the habit of carrying worry from after I finished a song till about 1 week after it is released.

I suppose it's OK - please let me know what you think about it, when you hear it ! (Thanks, I'm getting some already !)

I've got much more things to write about but I'm gonna be late for an appointment to meet my friend, so I'll talk to you later !

I can't depend on Mr. Liver's site updates anymore (since now it's over) . . .

(so was I depending on it first of all ?! (lol))

A happy new year ver2003

Hmm !

Seems like year 2003 has come quietly around me ??

Some of my friends are returning home, others working or nursing their family - so most of them are spending the New Year Days quietly.
For me also it's likely the New Year Days are coming and going gently ! !

Well, I guess I still have stronger impression like "the tough year is over now ! " rather than "the new year starts now !"
So many things have happened, really.

My life once became calm when I entered junior high, then it resumed drifting from around I debuted at 15 - every year I thought like "so many things have happened this year . . . I got tired . . . " but in 2002 I really had much, much more things . . .

I am sorry for having got you surprised so many times ! (bow)

But looking back the whole year I do think it was really good(this way of thinking, it's one of the greatness of human beings!). Probably I think so 'cause my mind is in a good condition now !

Well well, I wonder what's gonna happen this year
Let's take part in this "My-Life-Cup 2003" !

I look forward your supports as well as before.

2003 January(iaaaaagghhh !! it's already 2nd when I finished writing!!) 2
Utada Hikaru