Saturday, November 30, 2002

You are me and I am you ?

Last week I caught cold and rested at home. There was two days off and I was thinking like "isn't now the only chance to catch cold... ?" and I was successful eventually. (lol) And I managed to get well within those two days !
It's already a past talk...

In the evening when I was quiet with cold some murder cases were taken up by the news.

We don't get shocked so much at most of the murder case news these days, only feel a bit sad, right? There may be the people who don't even feel sad if they hear someone is killed somewhere in the distance.
I was using my personal computer at that time and did not concentrate so much on the news, until I heard the last word.
"It is said that Mr/Ms so and so - attacked at the house - was absent from work with cold, and he/she was at home today."

At the moment I had a feeling, like a lonely sense of closeness, to him/her. This might not be a proper expression - lonely sense of closeness - but it's not that "sadness" what I felt was.
It was strange but I felt like I was the person and the person was me!
I thought what separated us human beings was our own "consciousness" and the fact we were not surprised even if we saw the mirror, unlike other animals.

The substance which builds our body is always mixed with air or water, circulates through various living things and human beings - and plus/minus ions everywhere are flying with great speed, jump from my nerve to the elevator button and get me surprised...
We are like sharing cells, proteins of our bodies or everything with each other in the long run, aren't we !?

We can feel energy flows out of one person into the other person at both directions, when we take someone by the hand or put each other's body together !
Don't you sometimes feel like you might have exchanged the electricity which runs through brain cells and nerves, when you talk with someone about deep things for
a long while ? (No??)

If going beyond material stuffs don't you sometimes wonder what that mysterious feeling of relation is, when your eyes happen to meet someone's, for example on the street ?

We are merely covered with one membrane called skin - which is thin and easy to be torn.
I feel like everything is one thing.

That might be "the opposite of solitude"!

Would you remember here I asked you like "What's the opposite of solitude?" long ago?
Today I wrote the continuation of that message.

Talk to you soon !!

Thursday, November 21, 2002


Oops, I've just clicked the Submit button after entered only the title!
The alert "Input Error" was displayed and then I could go back to the "Post New Message" page so it was ok but I was scared for a second!

Once in a while I find some of your mails saying like "I spent a fairly long time writing my name, address and message, then pressed the Enter key by mistake and submitted them as half-done!!" or "Everything disappeared after an alert like 'Input numbers in half size' was displayed(sob)."
That really gets us down, you know first of all we become tense enough when writing to someone famous(to tell the truth I myself have a bitter memory of pressing something wrong and deleting all, while writing a fan mail to Mr. Hidetoshi Nakata, the football player! (lol))

All right let's go on to the main subject!
I finished the song - !
Actually I finished it right before recording vocals after all, 'cause "a big war to rewrite the lyrics talking to myself," which was like hell, broke out in my inner world and I fought over it for 4 days after I posted a message here something like "I could finish it off a bit earlier than usual~(*with a proud look*)! Yahoo!". . .
Finishing the first version early taught me how to reach this final version!
Please look forward to it!

Okay that's the end of the main subject!

So does it mean today's title has nothing to do with the main subject? (lol)
Just one thing I thought of when writing the title was . . . I like the latest SBK(ex-"Skebo King").
Or maybe I could say I've liked SHIGEO-san for a long time.
I'm even seriously considering changing my music production software from Digital Performer to Logic after having read an article in "Sound&Recording" magazine saying he uses the OSX version of Logic. (lol)
I'm pretty sure the fans of mine who had been listening to my radio programs are already familiar to this story!

All right, got it, now what is "TGS"??

TGS means, of course,

"Tasogare Seibei"! it means Tasogare Seibei!

TasoGare Se~be~!!!
(Sorry I may be straining this too much(lol))

Well, at first I went to the movie to see beautiful Miyazawa Rie san and ended up crying at the simple story which treasured only what deserved to be treasured.
It has some really good messages in it.
(Does this sound like nothing more than a publicity stunt?)

It was good to see it in the movies, but I thought my heart would be warmed and healed surprisingly well if I dropped in at a rental video shop after work, somehow rented this movie without any prior knowledge and saw it in my pajamas at home.
(I wonder if I'm promoting this movie or keeping you away from the movies(lol))

And yes, one more thing!
I saw Prince (or the artist formerly known as that?? Err whatever, I have no idea about it! Sorry!) yesterday in concert at Budokan!!
I say he's a real cool guy! Definitely deserves to be called a star!!

Ah, once I start writing I keep finding more things to write about . . . you know, his band's drummer is THAT John, who beat his drum for me on Bohemian Summer tour!!
John has not only the top-flight drumming skills but also his own unique timbre . . .
For me his drumming is still the sign to call me up on the stage, and I was filled with wild jealousy thinking "Oh no, why is Prince singing!? That drum fill is the sign to call me back onto the stage after changing clothes to sing Automatic!" while fascinated by Prince's singing voice and guitar playing as well!
Mr. Kawano who was the band master (+ keyboards) was watching the show together with me, so I missed my tour all the more!!

I really wanna do a live concert~!
It is too impossible due to the matter of time to schedule a tour from now, but actually I'm planning something . . . hehehe!

Just you wait, Prince!
Just kidding! (lol)

I'll announce it soon so keep coming backstar

Hehehe (grinning to myself)

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

The reason why I didn't post much for the past one and half years is . . . ???

Do you still remember the time when I'd been posting messages here so often enough to make this board popular for a while after it was set up??

Then from about one and half year ago I get to leave some intervals between each message. How come? I myself had no idea about this.

The reason, unknown even to myself, reveals itself now!

You remember I wrote a bit about my making a new song a few days ago? After that I got lots of responses like "Are you all right? Seems like you're in trouble this time"!

Eh? "this time"?

I haven't talked here much about the hardships of writing lyrics/songs for sure, but actually I've lived these two years always thinking things like that.
I can say I've been doing nothing but working since I started concentrating on musical works . . . as for the one whole year I was making DEEP RIVER, I very seldom ate out(meals-in-the-studio aren't counted as "eating out," right? (lol)) and went out only a few times . . . I hardly saw anyone except the people concerned with my work and two persons I trust the most . . .

So, I felt like setting my mind at ease every night I came back home from the studio . . . first I make up my mind like "Okay, let's write something!" then I think I shouldn't tell you about my distress in writing each song, and I also don't feel like sitting in front of my computer for another two hours trying to think out any alternative to write about at the end of the day . . . I think I'd prefer taking my glasses off and having a bath . . . this is how I've been with everything over the past one and half years.

It was not until I found myself living like this lately that I became fully aware I've got to reconsider the way to live my life!

I think about things like that everyday, but reading emails from you all or watching people around me I find lots of people are just repeating the same days over and over again. You see, we find many people who just get exhausted thinking he/she cannot do anything to solve his/her problem, don't we?
But don't you think living that way for so long might make us think that's just the way life goes? Haven't you ever been told "You must do it this way" "You must not do things like that" by the people who seem completely unhappy in every way, and told the same thing to the people around you before you knew it?

I believe one's state of mind and surroundings are closely related to each other, though they are often considered separately as "inside" and "outside."
I'm lucky I realized that I've got to move on, and I need to gather myself up from within if I really think it's time for a change!
I was able to change my state of mind slowly and steadily.
I'm glad I'm working again.

Well I thought it's okay to talk about things like this for today . . . while listening to Richard Ashcroft's new album! (the first track is a real standout!)

Sunday, November 03, 2002

It's a quiet Sunday morning (T-T)

The last blank line is now filled . . . with the lyrics!
Seems like the working area of my brain gets expanded whenever I get in the studio!

It's almost two months since I decided to release a new song and at once started thinking about the chord progression.

Now a month has passed since I started working on the lyrics, passed through the hot "traffic jams" a couple of times; my engine not yet going full-steam 'cause the battery won't warm up quickly in the winter morning . . .
Hey, what's wrong with me! Is it because I write the lyrics after a long while??
No! You remember, you always come to a deadlock and break it over and over again for about a month, don't you! - I cheered myself up by thinking like that . . .

Finally the day before yesterday! on starting my life in the studio I made rapid progress in writing the lyrics, and you know, (I think) I finished it all just about 5 minutes ago(although I'm sure I'll be worried about this and that and this and that trifle right before the recording session)('cause I decided to add 2 more measures at the beginning of 3C to liven things up and thanks to that I've got the word limit increased to cram more things in; but I'm not sure which would be better, tweaking that part with the same motif as the beginning of 1C and 2C to arrange the whole things poetically, or seeking some new expressions I haven't used before on the song to add more accents, an impressive touch which broaden the expanse of the song itself, since that is the part I add 2 more measures to make it a big turning point - I often do it this way; hmmmmm or would it be better to use the word I first thought out, No!! It's OK! It's OK to take the one I just chose! Cuz it can be like the answer to the question raised in 1A and 1A' and also get the whole structure in shape! <--- my thoughts go on and on like this . . .)

Oops I'm getting to go back again while I just told you I "finished it all."

You know, usually I don't manage to finish the lyrics until right before the recording day, or even until nearly blowing out the deadline a bit! (lol)
And this time I could finish it off 4 days before recording my vocals . . . I say anything can happen today - even a sudden rise of stock prices across the world! (lol)
It's been a long time since I had this feeling when I wrote "traveling"!

Woot! I feel great!
Now I can look Mr. Director straight in the eyes! (lol)

Uh-oh now it's already time to get ready to go out - I'm writing this report since I'm so happy that I've finished the song up, although at first I was thinking of leaving home after taking a short nap!
Okay then I'll take my nap in the studio today! (no kidding)
(It's OK for today!)

Talking of feeling great,

I found out what "Shigezou" means!!

"Shigezou," the name which sent you into a whirl of confusion and laughter several days ago.
First off let me thank the people who thought hard about this like "too antique for an ex-boyfriend's name! who's that!" and who tried to find this name by searching the www.
It would be a beautiful story only for those who check this site if "Shigezou" appeared on this week's most frequently searched keywords list. (lol)
Here let me tell you who "Shigezou" is, though it seems like he came to be loved too much to be unmasked now.

It's nothing special really . . . it's a name of the character appeared in the novel "Koukotsu no Hito" which I read in high school!
I think I saved it in my PC when I wrote an essay or something.

So this is the end of the story, or "stories" I'd say!

Now let's get down to work for today, giving thanks for being alive~

(NOTE by Nuuk)
"Koukotsu no Hito(The Twilight Years)" ... written by Sawako Ariyoshi; first published in 1972.