Wednesday, April 12, 2006


Seems like mixi was temporarily overcrowded yesterday . . .

I'm sorry for those of you troubled by me.

This time I received some strict comments(thank you), and lately I realize that I gotta be more self-aware of, say, my name recognition and stuff like that!!!

I mean, I'm really a careless, pain in the neck type of person.
I often think I'm not fit for this sort of work that is to be seen by a lot of people and could affect them, but at the same time, for the same reason I also think my personality is a type of which wouldn't be allowed if I didn't have such a creative job like this. (Sounds sorta complicated?)

I think I wanna be a respected person, just like my d- dad. (--Aww I see my embarrassment at the ending of words)

My relationship with my dad has been pretty businesslike, work-centered all this time. Our family is sorta like a samurai, the type of who takes care of business.

I believe we both have always been wanting to come close to each other. And perhaps over the past one year, it's like my mental barrier to my dad has been lowered. Lately I sometimes talk or discuss with my dad about something important, mental issues or anything.

The other day, when the weather was so good we were like "Why don't we go for a drive?" and drove straight to Shonan. We went to Enoshima for the first time, had tea and bought gifts there, then drove back. Might have been the first time that I did such a dating-like thing like this with my dad . . .
(.- -.) :blushes:

We humans put anything in our mouths when we are a baby, absorb and believe the world . . . then enter puberty, come to know many faults of the adults around us, and grow up building self-definition amid feeling contradiction or rebelling, you know.

Then when we grow up more, we become more aware of our own faults than others' and sometimes end up hating ourselves, don't we. We can't help but think of apologies to others or worry about if we've been bad from a young age, can we?

It would be nice if we could get to have respect for our parents, understanding, or appreciation for the people around, not hate ourselves and get desperate.

I've been so into Kaiko Takeshi lately!