Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Devil Inside

I've noticed something weird.

You know the picture I drew. Of an old woman holding a glass that has false teeth in it. She's grabbing her right hand with her left.

The picture frame shown in the front in the message "To cleanse your palate" is the one I fell in love with and bought at a jewelry store. I leave it as it is just like it was at the store. Cause I think the small picture of Mona Lisa fits it well.

Mona Lisa is placing her right hand gently on her left, contrary to the old woman.

You know I've been telling you that I'm grasping my left hand with my right hard enough to leave bruises on my skin while sleeping, right? (I have such a strong grip, seriously)

The old woman, Mona Lisa and me. Now all are linked.

It's quite recent that I placed the old woman picture at home. It's also recent I bought the picture frame with a Mona Lisa picture in it. It's most recent that I uploaded the image of me grabbing my left hand with my right in my message.

Aahh~ . . . I got it . . . that's what I thought . . .

I remembered this novel called "Nobi" by Ooka Shohei when I wrote "I got it" message. I've always loved it ever since the class had me read it when I was 13 or so. What was most impressive for me was the scene that Tamura, the leading character, tried desperately not to eat the body of his dead pal, by grabbing his left hand with his right. (If I remember it right . . . )

Ooka Shohei often used Jesus Christ as a motif. The left hand as a symbol of the devil or suffering; and the right hand as a symbol of salvation or God - this is the common notion of both the Bible and the Koran. (might include some other religions as well)

It is said scientifically that the left brain(right hand) controls reason, while the right brain(left hand) controls emotion, right. The people in old times already knew it intuitively.

This is getting to be a little complicated now but put simply, all those things made me think my grabbing my left hand with my right when I'm unconscious, could possibly be an indication that God inside me is struggling with the devil inside me trying to force it down.

I myself don't think the devil is a bad guy though. (lol)

Or rather, it might be about time I should listen to the voice from deep down bottom of my own heart, which I'm locking up in a rational way.

I got it, very much satisfied.

I feel kinda relieved now. (lol)