Thursday, June 21, 2001


I've finally done it, the single! All finished!
Whew, it turned out to be unusually hard to make it this time . . . I mean, its production went as scheduled but I had been sucked up my mental and physical nutrition by this my baby during the past one month - conception period, so to speak - from when I started working out what to make till finished the recording!! It had kept sucking and sucking me up, growing and growing as it pleased, beyond my control. Sometimes I really thought "Aaaagh, this time I'm gonna be eaten up by the song!" But after all it really became a good one, all the better cause it had fully taken my energy! (I believe so . . .) It's something very, very special. The recording studio was like enchanted and I spent a week there being veiled by the mysterious sense, like attending an old traditional ritual, rather than creating something. I remembered the feeling when I attended a wedding for the first time. Though this may sound like everything has gone quite smoothly, I was actually very worried if I could really finish it, experiencing many happenings and mistakes. But amazingly enough, all of those kind of things became a chance for the song to be better! I've got a lot of wonderful episodes. I thought like "Am I being protected by somebody??" every time I experienced them.

This is the first time for me to do this - I would like to devote this single "FINAL DISTANCE" to a person. The word "devote" may sound pompous and strange, it's more like . . . "dedicate." I had been stuck in the studio since the 9th of this month and I was informed by my father on the second day of the recording in the studio about what had happened in Ikeda city in Osaka the day before the 9th. At that time I was also informed about the girl called Rena Yamashita and shocked more than words could express - I would sound so fake no matter what word I use, but I was really really mortified and sad, so I thought if there was anything I could do . . . and decided to dedicate this song - which I just started writing - to her (and of course to all the people directly involved in the case as well . . .) then and there. Given sorrow and anger, tenderness and power born from them, and what not, I found a new meaning in the song and thanks to it I was able to hold on till the end.

I don't know yet what you will think of this, but for me this is likely to be the most beautiful thing I have ever made, including the picture in crayon I drew for the first time in the kindergarden, chicken gratin I made in homemaking course in Junior High, essays I submitted in University, my past CDs, all of them! So now I'm worried more than usual if you would like it . . . see what happens! I wanna let you hear it soon! Please tell me your impressions on it. I wish Rena-chan had heard it too . . .

(Breathing out long) Whew! It's like, I finally told you lots of things I wanted to. I'm so sorry for being away from here for so, so long!!! (I'm worried no one would be checking here any more??) I've got so so so many things I wanna tell you, I wanna hear from you! I may write many of them in one go after this!

(NOTE by Nuuk)
"what had happened in Ikeda city in Osaka" ... eight elementary schoolchildren were stabbed to death and fifteen schoolchildren and teachers were injured by one man on June 08, 2001. It was reported by some media that Rena Yamashita, one of the eight killed, 8 years old, was a big fan of Utada Hikaru.
[Related article]
Eight dead in school stabbing spree (The Japan Times Online - 06/09/01)